What is Darkness?
by PendragonU
Summary: Basically one way that the others could get their hearts back based solely on the efforts of Vexen. Also, Vexen giving Sora and the gang the knowledge on how to defeat...yeah. This is a yaoi fic as usual so don't get offended. CoAuthored with OniGil.
1. Introduction

Prologue

A Warning and Disclaimer

Hello and welcome to the first part of "What is Darkness?" This is the standard disclaimer and warning…

Disclaimer: We own nothing. The only original part of this story is the book written on darkness and the plot. Please don't sue us, we have no money. Kingdom Hearts belongs to Squaresoft, Square Enix, and Disney.

Warnings: Swearing, Adult Themes, Yaoi, "death", light non-consensual, angst, sexual situations, OOC

PendragonU A/N: Hello my faithful readers. I want you to know that I co-authored this story with Oni-Gil. She is the talent behind the ever wonderful Marluxia. I am the one who created Vexens book and who is the voice of said icy cold scientist. I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS. I am only responsible for the research journal/ book that "Vexen wrote". Please don't use anything from the journal unless you ask me first. I worked very hard on it and I would appreciate people asking to use that particular part of the story. I will usually say yes. I also wanted to thank Oni-Gil for agreeing to write this with me and bring her unique style and elegance to this story.

Oni-Gil A/N: I think this is going to be fun! ...and I really have nothing tosay yet, except that I'm going to love being MArluxia, for once. plots

The small leather bound book lay on the metal desk looking inconspicuous and of no significance. The front cover was blank and only the spine of the book showed any indication of writing. Strong hands with slender fingers picked up the book and turned it to better examine the writing on the spine. _Depths of Darkness: A Guide to the Mysteries of Darkness as Discovered__ by Vexen, The Chilly Academic._ A finely arched eyebrow rose. A guide to darkness…what the hell was Vexen thinking. If the Superior had ever caught Vexen making such a thing, he would have endured months of torture before the insane leader of the Organization killed him. Yet the fool had made such a document. There was a sigh. It would appear that the book was meant to be found on the event of Vexens death, so the scientist had at least had the forethought of making sure he was dead before his work fell into the hands of someone who might give it to the Superior.

The figure holding the book gave a small start as a letter fell from between the pages of the book. The small but neat handwriting that belonged to Vexen addressed the letter to the figure that had found the book and subsequently the letter. Saix smiled dryly. It would appear that his friend had a contingency plan for everything. Even death. The Luna Diviner bent over and picked up the letter and noticed another book hidden beneath Vexens' desk. He reached out and pulled a journal from its hiding place. Good grief. The man might have been a brilliant scientist, but he had no common sense. Anyone who accidentally dropped something in Vexens laboratory would easily see the journal and then all of Vexens private thoughts would be private no more. Saix thanked whatever that he had been the one chosen to go through Vexens living space and find personal belongings. The journal, letter and book would continue to be secret and safe with him.

Speaking of the book, Saix found himself idly curious about what his friend had written on the pages. The berserker decided to read the first page before taking it with him to his rooms. It would only take a few moments and the others would not even set foot in Castle Oblivion. For the time being he stood less chance of being caught with the writings here than he did at The World Never Was. The blue haired man sat at Vexens desk and opened the book.

_Depths of Darkness Preface_

_What is darkness? That was the question I asked myself when I was a young scientist named Even. It was a question that I asked myself before darkness took my heart and made me what I am now; a nobody given the designation of Vexen, The Chilly Academic and Number IV of the Organization XIII. I neglected this question after my __transformation;__ I no longer had any interest in the answer, and that folly lead to my compromised non-existence. After a close brush with death at the hands of one whom I believe is the embodiment of darkness, I began to value the question once more. I began to seek my answers. What is darkness? _

_ I pray to whatever deity truly exists that the one who finds this book has the good sense to use what information I can give to fight the darkness. I have learned what darkness truly is. I have also learned how to defeat it.__ I can give so little in repentance for what crimes I have committed while without a heart, but all the knowledge that I have gained is in this book. I give my research on replicas and cloning, I give my research on the heart and its connection with memories. But most importantly I give all of my knowledge about darkness and hopefully the key to defeat it. May the things contained in this book save some worlds and some people from falling to darkness and losing their hearts._

Saix stared at the page for a long time. The way to defeat darkness was in this book. So Vexen really was as brilliant as the original six said. The disrespectful taunts of the Neophytes seemed completely pointless now that Saix understood that most of Vexens brilliance was not in scheming plots or in battles of wits(and the man was an ace at both), but in his ability to solve problems and find things that others could not see. Vexens abilities as a scientist were no longer in question; at least not to Saix. He sighed deeply. His friend had been brilliant, a treasure trove of knowledge and wisdom, and he was put in this place beneath Marluxia. Because Vexen, as smart as he was, did not play at politics. He was essentially given a death sentence because he was incapable and unwilling to kiss ass.

Saix closed the book and stood. He decided on a dangerous course of action; he would see the book in hands of the Key blade Bearer or The Mouse King. They were the only ones who could truly do anything with it. They needed the information that Vexen had written and Saix was now the only one who could get it to them. As loyal as he was to Xemnas, even he knew that what the leader of the Organization had planned was foolish. He knew that the Superior had to be stopped, and Vexen apparently knew how to do it. Saix quietly tucked the book in one of his pockets and the journal and letter in another. He now needed to return to Never Was in order to somehow meet up with the Sora or King Mickey. He opened a portal of darkness and took one last glance around the room where his friend had lived. It hit him like a ton of bricks. Vexen was gone, and Saix was the only one who knew how great the man had truly been.

"Good-bye, my friend. Rest in peace, I shall see that your brilliance is known and done proper justice." The Luna Diviner stepped into his portal and vanished into the all consuming darkness.


	2. Chapter 1

What Is Darkness

Chapter 1

PendragonU A/N: Hello again. This is my chapter, so to the misfortune of the reader, Oni-Gil will not be making her true appearance until the second chapter. cries But be of good cheer, her chapter will be long (hopefully) and much better than any of mine. So, with love I gift you all with chapter one. Enjoy, review and WORSHIP THE SAIX!!!!!!!! SAIX IS THE MASTER OF ALL!!!!!! IF YOU DO NOT WORSHIP THE SAIX AND REVIEW, HE WILL EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR. ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE, ME NO OWN SO YOU NO SUE!!!

Saix: O.O…please review…I don't like underwear…they taste ewww.

Xemnas: You don't seem to mind mine Number VII, you shred them on a regular basis.

Saix: Yes.grins evilly Because that means you aren't wearing them and then I can molest you easier.

Xemnas: blushes

PendragonU: O.O falls over with a nosebleed kawaii! Xemnas looking like a proper uke bishie! grabs both and runs off to make them have hot mansex so she can write about it.

Saix quietly slipped through the halls of Never Was. He was headed towards his quarters with a certain slow pace that belied his inner desire to rush to his rooms. He knew that it was dangerous to have the items that Vexen left for him, and he did not want to encounter any of the others in the halls. The Luna Diviner turned down the hall that housed his rooms hoping to make it into his sanctuary without encountering another nobody.

"Saix." Luck was not with him this night. Saix turned and acknowledged the other standing behind him.

"Number II. What is it that you need?" Xigbar looked at Saix with a sort of sadness. It was the same sort of sadness that any member of the Organization wore when any of their number ceased to have some sort of existence. His eye rested on the two books settled in Saix's arms. The sadness grew a little deeper.

"It's true then. Vexen's gone." The sharpshooter's mouth twisted and his demeanor changed. He was usually one of those nobodies that could easily give the appearance of having a heart, because he always seemed to be laughing. That disappeared as soon as he observed the books. "I suppose you were the one to go get his affects then." Saix nodded. He wanted to run. He was terrified that the other would ask about the books.

"If that is all…I must be going. I have things that that I must be doing." Xigbar nodded and turned away. Saix hesitated before turning back to the other.

"If it is any consolation, he didn't suffer. He also made one of the biggest scientific breakthroughs known to history. He had our equivalent of happiness. For a time at least." Xigabr paused and took a deep breath.

"Thanks. I'll pass that on to Xaldin…he, Xemnas and myself are all that is left of the original six. Most of Ansem's apprentices are dead…" The gun wielding nobody opened a portal and disappeared in the darkness. Saix sighed. He knew that he should feel remorse or pity for the other man but all he could "feel" was relief that he hadn't been caught. Saix quietly finished his walk to his quarters and he opened the doors. Once inside he heaved a sigh of relief.

He carefully locked his doors and put up a warning barrier. This way he would have at least a few seconds warning before anyone opened a portal into his room. He then moved to sit and placed the books on the desk that was located next to his bed... Saix sighed and pulled the letter from his coat pocket. He opened the letter and sat on the edge of his bed.

_Saix,_

_If this letter is in your hands, what appears to be my death has occurred. Take __heart (__pun intended) and do not feel what we call grief. I am not dead. I have discovered a way to escape the trap of the Organization.__ I have escaped and found a way for others to do so as well. I am in a safe haven with three others who have chosen freedom. Lexeus, Zexion and Marluxia are alive and well; they chose to live and stay in this place with me. I have created a loophole for those who are killed in battle, the card that bears my image and the essence of my power has the ability to restore life to those who have fallen. It well may be that I will not see you again because I do not know how much in thrall you are to Xemnas and if you will choose life and freedom when the time comes. I want you to know that I have hope that you will. _

_I know that my existence will be less enriched if I lack your presence and friendship in my life. I also want you to know something that it a secret from even the ones who live with me now. I have regained my heart. I do not yet know how. All that I know is that when I realized that I might never see you again, I cried genuine tears without having to think of emotion. I felt saddened by the thought that the others that I called my friends might also choose to stay a part of the Organization._

_I pray __you;__ do not become blinded by Xemnas's promise of a new heart. There are other ways to gain a heart that do not require the slaughter of innocents…that do not require the use of cursed darkness. I have a heart once more and as soon as I figure out how I obtained it I will share my knowledge with all of the rest of the nobodies in the Organization; I will tell you how to feel again. If you __believe__ in my words, I would ask a boon of you._

_Give my research to Sora and all of those who fight on the side of light. The knowledge in my book may be crucial for them to win against darkness. I know that this seems a completely asinine request, because it bears great danger for you and I am safe. I would do it myself but I must not let Xemnas know that I still live and he must not know where I am. I cannot compromise the other three, or the haven that we all share. I must also say that you do not have to do it. If you are unwilling to do this, share my __words with Xaldin and Xigbar. One of them may take up the__ task. Please my friend, protect this knowledge and only share it with them. Tell no one else that I am alive. I beg of you. _

_I know that what I ask of you brings danger into your existence. I am sorry to give such a burden to you but you were the only one that I believed could reach. Saix, please, don't follow Xemnas and don't give into the dark ways that he shows you. I want to see you live my __friend;__ I want to see you regain your heart._

_Vexen, The Chilly Academic_

Saix stared at the letter in his hands. The words seemed to ring in his ears as he recalled the sound of Vexens' voice. He could almost hear his friend saying 'I have regained my heart.' It was strangely enough not a surprise to Saix that Vexen was the first to get a heart. Saix let out the breath he had been subconsciously holding. Vexen was alive.

Saix wished that he could truly feel the joyful remnant that seemed to warm his entire body. His friend had not died at Castle Oblivion; he had not fallen to Axels' chakrams. The momentary relief left Saix the moment he considered the task Vexen had asked him to do. The Luna Diviner frowned and wondered how in the hell he was going to be able to get Vexens' research to Sora. Saix honestly had no idea.

"Well, I bet Xaldin and Xigbar might have an idea…" Saix smiled and realized that he was going to need their help if he was going to get the book into the right hands. "So, I have an appointment with a sharpshooter and a dragoon. Wonderful." Saix sighed. Now he was talking to himself. "When I see you Vexen, you had better thank me. I'll get your book to Sora, and to the Mouse King. I will get this task done."

Heehee! I have a little interesting fact for all of you. The letters M-A-X-N-E-S are found in two words with linked meaning. MANSEX and XEMNAS. GET IT? XEMNAS HAS MANSEX! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (note to self and all others who would care to remind me, NO drinking vault when writing fan fiction.) Yeah I know the ending was kinda crappy. Sorry folks. Please review.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

PendragonU: Be excited! This chappie was written by Oni-Gil! Please review! Submit reviews and I will send them on to her. I love you all and thank you for continueing to read!

Oni-Gil is the coolest. So review or my muses will eat you.

Marluxia, the Graceful Assassin, Number Eleven of Organization XIII, Castle Oblivion, was not happy.

In fact, one might even have said that he was furious, if he had had a heart to feel so strongly with. Everything had been going perfectly as planned, the Key-bearer playing into his hands—and then Axel had turned on them, double-crossing everyone, overturning all schemes and plots in his quest for… something. No one knew what Axel wanted.

It had been Vexen who had found him teetering between existence and oblivion. How he must have looked: no more than a wraith, a shadow of his former self. More precisely, a rapidly-fading memory of the man he had once been, a man who had been Aramuil, or Marluxia, or both. How pitiful he must have seemed, unable at first to summon the will to even stand up… yet, Vexen, of all people, had been patient with him as much as could be expected, treating him like an ill child, helping him stand, walk, become _himself_ again.

It had been Vexen who had brought him to this place, a world which Marluxia had never seen, and installed him into this abandoned house along with Lexaeus and, a short while later, Zexion.

It was Vexen who dwelled most in Marluxia's thoughts, more so than Sora or Larxene, who was pointedly missing, or even Axel.

Vexen, ah yes, the source of his unhappiness—his vexation, he thought with a little smirk—the green-eyed stick figure who stalked the halls in clothes that didn't quite fit, the blond thundercloud who continued to ignore him completely.

Marluxia simmered quietly, unable to vent any steam. If only this were Castle Oblivion, and he were in charge! Sora was sleeping, protected only by a tiny group. If they acted quickly, they could capture him and reclaim Naminé in one fell swoop, as well as perhaps take control of two more Key-bearers and a man of mysterious power. He would surely be forgiven for his errors if he could bring such a prize to the Organization… a prize which would naturally include the three traitors. His status in the Organization would be solid, his rank considerably higher, and in time he could recruit more discontents and try again to overthrow Xemnas, more carefully this time.

He _could _do all of this. There was no barrier to prevent him from portaling back to Oblivion or Never Was.

So why didn't he?

He could see Vexen across the room in a knitted sweater a size too large, engaged in a heated debate with Zexion, while Lexaeus looked on. The three were almost always arguing about something. Marluxia never listened—their petty matters were beneath him.

He scowled. It had been a bad idea to treat Vexen the way he had in Castle Oblivion. Since the scientist was responsible for saving them from complete destruction, he had been wordlessly accepted as their impromptu leader. The balance of power had shifted, positions had been reversed, and Marluxia had thoroughly smashed his chance at holding any authority in this new arrangement at all.

The elders spared only the briefest of glances in his direction as he approached. This rankled on his nerves. He had never like being ignored.

"What now?" he asked, intentionally interrupting Vexen's and Zexion's conversation. Both glared at them, stopped in mid-debate.

"What do you mean, what now?" Zexion said impatiently.

"Sora is practically defenseless," Marluxia replied, making a broad gesture. "We could still fulfill our mission, rejoin the Organization…"

"We?" Vexen asked scathingly, sneering. "You mean yourself, of course, once you bring both Sora and the 'traitors' to Xemnas."

Marluxia returned the expression with equal venom. Before he could retort, Lexaeus stepped in.

"I'm certain that Marluxia's intentions were pure. However, he is aware that, should it come to a question of our next actions, he is without allies."

Zexion smirked, and the corner of Vexen's lips twitched.

"Now, Lexaeus, let's try to avoid any discord," the Academic said dryly. "There are so few of us as it is. We can't afford to fight amongst ourselves."

_Hm._ Perhaps Vexen wasn't as much of an enemy as he had thought.

Marluxia sidled a bit closer to the frosty scientist, smiling in a rather unpleasant manner.

"Glad to know you care about me. Snowflake," he added for good measure, landing a firm smack on Vexen's rear. He had barely enough time to see IV flush scarlet before Vexen slapped him. He heard a snicker from Zexion and a soft cough from Lexaeus which may have disguised a laugh.

"Under _no_ circumstances, Number Eleven, are you to touch me in such a manner," Vexen hissed, momentarily slipping back into his old habits. "And do _not_ call me that."

Marluxia raised a hand to prod gingerly at his stinging cheek as Vexen stormed off.

"I would advise against antagonizing Vexen," Lexaeus rumbled, something all-too-close to amusement glinting in his eyes. Although he was sorely tempted to make a rude gesture, Marluxia settled for a glare and stalked off.

He would _never_ have settled for that sort of behavior back in Oblivion. But Lexaeus was right—here, he was alone. Axel and Larxene were absent. He had no authority anymore, no orders from Xemnas to elevate him. He was an outcast, a stranger bobbing at the fringe of a closely-knit group. Worse, he was now dependent on them, and he had a feeling that they had some revenge to enact. His only choice was to swallow his pride and work his way into their good graces.

The first order of business, then, was to apologize to Vexen, in some overly humiliating and debasing manner.


	4. Chapter 3

What is Darkness

Chapter 3

* * *

PendragonU: OMG…I am so embaressed. I never ment to misspell Axel. I am so sorry. But please go easy on me, my beta didn't catch it either. I have now fixed it. Love all, peace out.

Vexen stormed out of the house in a blind fury. How dare that arrogant bastard touch him like that! Vexen had been hesitant to pull the Graceful Assassin from the clutches of Oblivion, but had decided to do so because he believed that all of the Organization members deserved the chance to live free and whole lives. Now Marluxia was making him question whether or not this was a good philosophy. After all, Larxene had stated she would rather be dead than have to live in peace with the others. Maybe that was the case with Marluxia as well. Maybe it would have been better to let the other pass; he was not the sort who adapted well to change.

Vexen sighed and looked to the stars. The glimmering points of light were clear and lovely on this world. It was Ironic that the same person who had once looked at the stars as nothing more than various experiments now took such comfort in reveling in their beauty. The glittering of the worlds in the sky now spoke to Vexen of hope for the future and when a star would grow brighter, Vexen would smile as he acknowledged the effect of the light as it purged the darkness. Soon, Sora would wake and the stars would be shining in great effervescence once more. The Key blade wielder would speed up the lights temporary victory over the darkness and there would a short period of peace. But the peace never lasted. The darkness always came back. But maybe, just maybe, this time it wouldn't.

Vexen turned his thoughts to Saix. The berserker had all of Vexens hard work, everything that the scientist had theorized and discovered was now in the man's hands. If Saix could safely get the information to Sora and the other forces of light…It would be the start of a new era in every world. Vexen sighed again. He felt guilty. He had placed one of those who had bothered to befriend him in very grave danger. The way to stop forever the spread of darkness was in his book. There were some who would kill to possess that knowledge, and others who would kill to destroy it. His friend might die trying to fulfill Vexen's request. In Vexen's eyes, the death of Saix would be a high price for peace, almost too high. Vexen had always valued the friendship of those who would choose to call themselves his friends and Saix was no different. It might also be that Saix would come to resent him for leaving such a monumental task for him without offering to help.

Vexen prayed that would not be the case but, _Kay syrah, syrah_. Vexen then turned his thoughts turned to the others he had left behind. Xigbar and Xaldin would be listless right about now. The two of them held onto the memories of Dilan and Braig with a tenacity that surprised even Zexion, and those memories would cause Xaldin and Xigbar to experience the nobody equivalent of grief. And poor Demyx. The World That Never Was wasn't fit for one with such bright eyes. The gloom and rain of that place often left the Melodious Nocturne with an almost permanent expression of melancholy. Even the ever stoic Lexaeus was given to smile and feel a remnant of joy when Demyx was around, and every member of the Organization, save for Xemnas, usually made sure to try and remember happiness for the sake of the gentle sitar player. Vexen let his thoughts wander to from Demyx and his sapphire bright eyes to the other two who had always been at his side; Roxas and Axel. Roxas was beyond Vexen's reach for the moment, and would probably remain so until more of the others showed up. It was unfortunate because he was sure that Number XIII had a heart of his own. And because Axel would not willingly be anywhere without his Roxas.

Vexen snorted derisively and sat on the cool soft grass. It was rather humorous that one who had no heart was so devoted to one person. Everything that Axel did was for Roxas. The Flurry of Dancing Flames had betrayed all of Castle Oblivion in an odd attempt to prevent Roxas from being used as a tool for controlling Sora by Xemnas. The irony of the situation was that Axel had indeed saved Roxas from Xemnas, but had failed utterly to protect The Key of Destiny from himself. The youngest nobody had taken flight in an attempt to understand what was happening to him, to figure out his origins and why he alone could truly feel. Thus he had fallen prey to one that even Xemnas tended to avoid confrontation with; Riku. Then the silver haired boy had taken Roxas to Diz, who was the true Ansem. The situation was complicated and Vexen was going to wait and see what Ansem had planned for Roxas before stepping in and trying to save the young one.

It would do Vexen no good to be discovered by any remaining member of the Organization as he attempted to save Roxas, and it would do no good for any left that had hope of escaping if the only way out were to be eliminated. Vexen sighed deeply. It was all too much. There was so much riding on him and his ability to do what he needed to do without being discovered. Vexen could feel the proverbial world on his shoulders. And he had to do it all while maintaining the peace in a mansion that housed a schemer with a blindly loyal lacky and an idiotic, annoying, arrogant, selfish, rude, power hungry pink haired twit. Vexen groaned softly and drew his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them in a surprising display of flexibility. He wasn't sure he could endure Marluxia.

The other nobody really was a total pain in the ass. He had no respect for anyone other than himself and had a penchant for tormenting Vexen in any way that suited his fancy. Just before the fall of Castle Oblivion, Marluxia had taken a strange satisfaction in seeing Vexen squirm at subtle and not so subtle innuendo. Then Marluxia had found great amusement in watching Vexen grit his teeth as he fondled his backside or put his hands in other sensitive places. And in Castle Oblivion, all Vexen could do was grit his teeth, because reprisal of any sort would get him killed. Vexen smiled as he wrapped his arms around his legs. It felt so good to finally be able to slap that arrogant bastard. Vexen's smile faded as he realized how counter-productive that slap had been. He needed to be patient and be willing to compromise if he expected the others to do the same. Vexen let out a miserable sound and tilted his head back to glare at the heavens. If there was a god or gods up there, they were laughing their asses off. He was going to have to put up with Marluxia.

"Shit! Screw you too Gods!"

PendragonU: Kay Syrah, Syrah means "What will be, will be" It is a phrase that was commonly used in Imperial Rome.


	5. Chapter 4

What is Darkness

Chapter 4

PendragonU: Here it is! Sorry about the wait! Both Oni-Gil and Myself have been very busy.

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Marluxia was surprised to find that Vexen had gone outside. He had always seen the scientist as a grim, sterile wraith, clinging to the sanitized laboratories he preferred. Certainly IV would not seek out the seclusion of a grassy hill in the midst of a forest—it seemed more like the sort of place Marluxia would go to find solace.

(Perhaps Vexen only went outside because it was nighttime. Nobodies in general had nothing to fear from the light of the sun, but the scientist's pale complexion had led Marluxia to believe that the older man never ventured out in daylight, at least not without an extra layer of sunscreen. This train of thought made XI reflect on his world's vampire legends.)

But there he was, sitting in the grass with his knees pulled up to his chest. If Nobodies could feel lonely, perhaps Vexen would be. Marluxia, who counted himself as something of an expert in the politics of the Organization, knew that Vexen was something of an outcast. All of the rest had some sort of circle, or at least a certain partnership: Axel haunted Roxas' steps, Xigbar and Xaldin were never far apart, Saïx lurked at Xemnas' side, Lexaeus and Zexion were joined at the hip, that sort of thing, but Vexen was the odd man out. Mocked by the neophytes, shunned by his former colleagues… Zexion had happily thrown Vexen to the metaphorical dogs, and Xemnas had cast him aside long ago. If Marluxia could feel such things, he thought he might pity Vexen.

A sudden realization struck him: Without Larxene, he, too, was a loner.

Marluxia shook these distractions from his head in order to focus on the dilemma at hand. How to apologize to Vexen without making a complete fool of himself? The scientist hadn't seen him yet. Perhaps he could send a Dusk…? But no, they didn't dare summon Dusks lest Xemnas track them down. Besides, that was the coward's way out. No, he needed to apologize to Vexen face-to-face. But if he simply approached, IV might take flight again. The old "I come in peace" would only make Vexen sneer.

An idea timidly presented itself to him. No, no, that was _far_ too romantic and sentimental. He was a _Nobody_, for crying out loud, and he was dignified. The Graceful Assassin would stoop to such a level for no one…

…except, perhaps, the Chilly Academic.

It was the work of a moment to make the flowers on the hill all around Vexen bloom. What luck, that they happened to be white, gold, and pale blue, all colors Marluxia associated with his frosty scientist. He saw Vexen looking around and smiled to himself, imagining what sort of scientific explanations IV might be coming up with to explain the phenomena.

Vexen's eyes fell on him, their emerald depths gleaming even in the dim light, and Marluxia could have sworn the scientist was smiling.

But with the shadows, it was hard to tell, and in a moment Vexen's expression had returned to its normal cool detachment and the older man nodded stiffly. Still… that smile had been there. Even if the gesture had been overly sentimental, perhaps Vexen understood that it was the thought that counted. Marluxia knew his unspoken apology had been accepted.

His booted feet swished through the soft grass as he climbed the hill to stand beside Vexen. It was odd to be taller than the other Nobody. Marluxia understood at once that this position would be awkward and somewhat embarrassing for the scientist, so he surrendered his dignity and sat down as well, already wincing at the inevitable grass stains.

For a while, there was an uncomfortable silence.

"Nice day, isn't it?" Marluxia asked finally.

"…it's night, XI."

"I knew that. It's called polite small talk."

Marluxia glanced sidelong at Vexen, but aside from a twitch at the corner of the scientist's lips, there was no reaction. Sighing, the Assassin glared up at the stars that seemed to have captured IV's attention. Again, there was silence. At last, Marluxia voiced the question that had been plaguing him for some time.

"Do you still think of me as a traitor?" he asked. Vexen turned unreadable eyes on him.

"A traitor?" he echoed. "Yes."

Marluxia chuckled.

"Are you any better?"

For a moment, he feared Vexen was going to strike him again, but the scientist didn't seem inclined to violence at the time. Instead, a mirthless smirk twisted Vexen's lips. There was something like pain in the man's face, making it more like a grimace.

"Twice a betrayer," he said softly. "Perhaps that makes me worse, in a way."

"Even if the second is an attempt to repair the first?" Marluxia wondered aloud. Vexen's gaze turned penetrating. No doubt he was wondering how much XI knew about the elder six. Then the scientist looked away.

"The irony is perfect," he murmured. "That none of us realized the value of our hearts until we threw them away. And yet, it was those hearts that drove us to betray our master. Now that I am not bound by my heart, I ca look back on Even's misguided passions and laugh, but… if I were to be complete, would I have to take that part of him back? Wouldn't I make the same mistakes as he did before? Wouldn't we all? Or would we be swallowed by our hearts, our present selves erased?"

Marluxia shook his head.

"No, I don't think so," he said. When Vexen looked at him quizzically, he explained, "I think that now, Even would have a part of Vexen in him. He could use his heart for better things."

Vexen scoffed.

"Like what?"

Marluxia hadn't thought of that.

"I," he stammered. Vexen snorted.

"Eloquent," he teased. Marluxia couldn't help but laugh at his own foolishness. What would he have said?

_To love me?_ He banished the thought the moment it crossed his mind.

"You know, you're not so bad," he said instead. Perhaps it would be bearable to stay here, after all. "For an elder."

Vexen regarded him with one eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Marluxia… I'm only twenty-nine. Stop calling me an elder."

Marluxia feigned indifference.

"Why, that's practically decrepit. Come on, old man, let's go inside."


End file.
